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Think of how stupid the average person is,
by George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Funny

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin


 

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every thought we think is creating our future.
- Louise L. Hay

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

With every rising of the sun
Think of your life as just begun.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Exercise free-will.
CHOOSE each and every action you make,
every thought you think,
and every emotion you feel.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every thought you think
and every word you speak
is affirming something.
- Louise L. Hay

Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous

Know that life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You become what you think about.
- Earl Nightingale

We are shaped by our thoughts;
we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows
like a shadow that never leaves.
- The Buddha

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

What you think of me is none of my business.
- Terry Cole-Whittaker

We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright

You are what you think you are.
- Bob Richards

Do not think that love,
in order to be genuine,
has to be extraordinary.
What we need is to love without getting tired.
- Mother Teresa

Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The biggest mistake we could ever make in our lives
is to think we work for anybody but ourselves.
- Brian Tracy

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank

God is not what you imagine
or what you think you understand.
If you understand you have failed.
- Saint Augustine

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
- John Wooden

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Cheer for endings - whether goals have been met or not -
whether the ending is tidy or ragged.
Without endings, there would be neither the opportunity
nor the incentive to think new thoughts,
and to begin great new projects.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale

They can because they think they can.
- Virgil

If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

You hold onto religion, you know,
rules, regulations, traditions.
I think what God is interested in
is people's hearts, and that's hard enough.
- Bono

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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