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Funny Inspirational Quotes

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Welcome to these Funny Inspirational Quotes about life. Let these inspiring Funny quotes and sayings give you a new perspective about life - the profound mix of the inspirational and the lighthearted in life.

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain


In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

What we got here is... failure to communicate.
- Cool Hand Luke (1967)

The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain

You have to learn to push the guilt under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- Woody Allen (Chris Wilton - Match Point - 2005)

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Walt Disney

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-Erica Jong

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

Some people are so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Life would be infinitely happier
if we could only be born at the age of eighty
and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- Woody Allen - Annie Hall (1977)

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- Anything Else (2003)

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
- Yasser Arafat

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once.
Anything. One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- Love and Death (1975)

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg

Doubt is not a pleasant condition,
but certainty is absurd.
- Voltaire

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain

The road to success is always under construction.
- Lily Tomlin

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

Do not speak to me of rules. This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

- Anonymous

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain

Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin

I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.
- Simon Birch (1998)

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana

God writes a lot of comedy...
the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
- Chinese proverb

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

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