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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
by George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Related topics: Funny Cynical Family Relationship

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something
you love than to be a success at something you hate.
- George Burns

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
- George Burns

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At my age flowers scare me.
- George Burns

I don't believe in dying.
It's been done.
I'm working on a new exit.
Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
- George Burns

You've got to be honest; if you can fake that,
you've got it made.
- George Burns


 

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
- George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made.
Very few people die past that age.
- George Burns

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal,
a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman;
it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
- George Burns

Be quick to learn and wise to know.
- George Burns

Acting is all about honesty.
If you can fake that, you've got it made.
- George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
- George Burns

If it's a good script I'll do it.
And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough,
I'll do it.
- George Burns

It takes only one drink to get me drunk.
The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
- George Burns

First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally,
you forget to pull it down.
- George Burns

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times.
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
- George Burns

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity,
I would have to say it is avoiding worry,
stress and tension.
And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
- George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going
to spend the rest of my life.
- George Burns

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
- George Burns

How can I die? I'm booked.
- George Burns

It's good to be here.
At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
- George Burns

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
- George Burns

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.
When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
- George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
- George Burns

I'm very pleased to be here.
Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
- George Burns

Everything that goes up must come down.
But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
- George Burns

The most important thing in acting is honesty.
If you can fake that, you've got it made.
- George Burns

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
- George Burns

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
- George Burns

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
- George Burns

How beautifully leaves grow old.
How full of light and color are their last days.
- George Burns

This is the sixth book I've written,
which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
- George Burns

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a
success at something I hate.
- George Burns

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
- George Burns

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your
shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
- George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day.
At my age I have to hold on to something.
- George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending,
then having the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile
can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best cure for our own self-inflicted suffering
is often service to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human race has one really effective weapon,
and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
- A Course In Miracles

The key to happiness is not to have what you want
but to want what you have.
- Anonymous

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

Forgiving is not a gift to someone else.
Forgiving is your gift to yourself -
a great gift - the gift of happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My happiness depends on me.
- A Course in Miracles

Happiness is not the absence of problems,
but the willingness to deal with them joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Success is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

The path to your own happiness is usually found in service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Celebrate! Celebration is an expression of Gratitude.
Gratitude is like the prayer, while
Celebration is the hymn and sacred dance.
Celebration is its own road to happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness... consists in giving, and in serving others.
- Henry Drummond

The path to happiness is forgiveness of everyone
and gratitude for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Happiness is a choice - independent of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that happiness is created by the act
of expressing gratitude for all of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Create happiness for others.
- Dale Carnegie

Consistent happiness is found through
living in a state of constant gratitude.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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