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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor. ...
by George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin


 

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Change of any sort requires courage.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

God doesn't require us to succeed;
He only requires that you try.
- Mother Teresa

Facing a difficulty requires a willingness of heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

A great gift requires two people,
the giver and the receiver.
Think of a football pass -
skillfully catching the pass, the gift,
is fully as important, and difficult, as throwing it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Smiling away your troubles requires
a clear conscience that harbors no insincerity.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein

To live a satisfying life requires two steps...
1. Plan your life goals.
2. Act on your plan - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough preparation -
veneer isn't worth anything.
- George Washington Carver

Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind;
it requires the same effort of the brain
that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
- Helen Keller

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice
requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and
passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Living in the present moment requires discretion toward memory.
Without memory we'd have amnesia. What good would there be in that?
Offer discretion and discernment for our past
with a broad spectrum of forgiveness.
As for our present moment, delight.
And dedication to remain fully present to all the possibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If the machine of government is of such a nature
that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another,
then, I say, break the law.
- Henry David Thoreau

The spirit of democracy is not a mechanical thing
to be adjusted by abolition of forms.
It requires change of heart.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Once you have seen the truth
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Sheri Rosenthal

The law of sacrifice is uniform throughout the world.
To be effective it demands the sacrifice
of the bravest and the most spotless.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Worthless people live only to eat and drink;
people of worth eat and drink only to live.
- Socrates

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor
to be what you desire to appear.
- Socrates

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One that desires to excel
should endeavor in those things
that are in themselves most excellent.
- Epictetus

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability
of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
- Henry David Thoreau

Not chance of birth or place has made us friends,
Being oftentimes of different tongues and nations,
But the endeavor for the selfsame ends,
With the same hopes, and fears, and aspirations.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams
and endeavor to leave the life which you have imagined,
you will you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau

All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

It is our duty still to endeavor to avoid war;
but if it shall actually take place, no matter by whom brought on,
we must defend ourselves.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether
it was fired from within or without,
we must try to extinguish it.
- Thomas Jefferson

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Watch what people are cynical about,
and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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