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W. Somerset Maugham Quotes and Sayings
Quotes by W. Somerset Maugham

May you find great value in these inspirational W. Somerset Maugham Quotes from my large datebase of inspiring quotes and sayings.

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

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A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer PHOTO

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill PHOTO

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde PHOTO

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz PHOTO

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec PHOTO

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller PHOTO

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw PHOTO

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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