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Patton Oswalt Quotes and Sayings
Quotes by Patton Oswalt

May you find great value in these inspirational Patton Oswalt Quotes from my large datebase of inspiring quotes and sayings.

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties
really shook out a lot of hacks.
The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.
- Patton Oswalt

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick,
he turns into 40 gold coins.
- Patton Oswalt

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year.
I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring.
We'll see.
- Patton Oswalt

It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad
alcoholic dads right now.
- Patton Oswalt

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I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning,
but it took me a really long time before I was able
to view what I was performing myself as an art form.
- Patton Oswalt

I hate all sidekicks.
- Patton Oswalt

I'm not familiar with the metric system.
- Patton Oswalt


 

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times,
but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff,
I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.
- Patton Oswalt

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors
to beat it out if me with steel pipes.
- Patton Oswalt

I think right now is the best time for stand-up,
ever.
I sincerely do.
- Patton Oswalt

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that
have being doing it for so long,
for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start
becoming personal on stage.
- Patton Oswalt

Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties
where I really began to hate what was valued as funny
and just sort of what was valued in stand-up,
period.
- Patton Oswalt

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
- Patton Oswalt

George Bush is not stupid.
He's evil.
OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
- Patton Oswalt

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up,
painting and music.
Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up,
and drive on.
- Patton Oswalt

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- Anonymous

The right to do something doesn't mean that doing it is right.
- William Safire

An "always been" does not mean I must choose "what must be."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous

Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using your word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

We get to CHOOSE the meaning for our lives.
Our lives mean exactly what we say they do - no more, no less.
Each of us chooses their path in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett

It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Understanding the laws of nature does not mean that
we are immune to their operations.
- David Gerrold

Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Be clear with yourself about what you mean
in conversations with others, and especially with yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Father or stepfather - those are just titles to me.
They don't mean anything.
- Oliver Hudson

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
- George Carlin

God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
- Albert Einstein

"Uncertainty" is NOT "I don't know."
It is "I can't know."
"I am uncertain" does not mean "I could be certain."
- Wener Karl Heisenberg

It is our experience that political leaders do not
always mean the opposite of what they say.
- Abba Eban

Just because something doesn't do what you planned
it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
- Thomas A. Edison

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll

Whenever anyone says, 'theoretically,'
they really mean,
'not really.'
- Dave Parnas

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure it just means
you haven't succeeded yet.
- Robert H. Schuller

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
- Irene Peter

Knowledge will forever govern ignorance;
and a people who mean to be their own governors must
arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.
- James Madison

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world
doesn't mean you are wiser
than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
- Edward R. Murrow

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You can't move so fast that you try to change
the mores faster than people can accept it.
That doesn't mean you do nothing,
but it means that you do the things that
need to be done according to priority.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There are some great questions to ask your doctor.
If he says 'no,' then you find yourself a different doctor.
There really has to be a change in how we medically
look at women at this time.
I mean, this is not just baby gloom.
- Marie Osmond

I decided that it was not wisdom that
enabled poets to write their poetry,
but a kind of instinct or inspiration,
such as you find in seers and prophets
who deliver all their sublime messages
without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates

Success doesn't mean that you are healthy,
success doesn't mean that you're happy,
success doesn't mean that you're rested.
Success really doesn't mean that you look good,
or feel good, or are good.
- Victoria Principal

I mean, I'm pretty good in real life,
but sometimes people seem surprised that I'm like a
normal teenager and wear black nail polish and I'm
just a little bit more edgy than the person I play on television.
- Brittany Snow

In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such
a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent."
I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow,
but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms.
- Stephen Jay Gould

Presents don't really mean much to me.
I don't want to sound mawkish, but -
it was the realization that I have a great many people
in my life who really love me,
and who I really love.
- Gabriel Byrne

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

It was definitely a part of our life.
I mean, my mom had both her brothers and her fiancee
in Vietnam at the same time,
so it wasn't just my dad's story, it was my mom's story too.
And we definitely grew up listening to the stories.
- Vanessa Kerry

I mean, I look at my dad.
He was twenty when he started having a family,
and he was always the coolest dad.
He did everything for his kids, and he never made us
feel like he was pressured.
I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.
- Adam Sandler

Just because you're upfront with someone doesn't mean you're an honest person;
you might just be someone in the passenger seat.
- Brian Celio

I've done one movie.
And it's not a movie I want to stand on as far as acting ability goes.
I mean, I'm not going to win an Oscar anytime soon.
I'm not Meryl Streep.
- Megan Fox

Prosperous farmers mean more employment,
more prosperity for the workers and the business men
of every industrial area in the whole country.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I mean, I grew up with pretty down-to-earth,
atheist parents, but I was born a Pisces.
- Melissa Auf der Maur

To the general public, show business may just mean the artistic part,
but the dollar and cents element is the reality every performer has to face.
- Liza Minelli

Number one, I absolutely love making chocolate chip cookies.
I mean, it's fun.
It's exciting.
Beyond the fact that I love making them,
I love eating them.
- Debbi Fields

You only have a week to do a show.
I mean, there's only so deep you can dig in that week.
- David Hyde Pierce

Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over.
My grandfather died more than 25 years ago,
but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell.
- Julian Clary

Because you don't live near a bakery doesn't mean you
have to go without cheesecake.
- Hedy Lamarr

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know.
I mean, how can you tell?
- Andy Warhol

Reviewers said Ghost Country was rich,
astonishing and affecting in the way it blended comedy,
magic, and a gritty urban realism in a breathtaking
ride along Chicago's mean streets.
- Sara Paretsky

You see, money isn't everything - I know it sounds
corny but I really mean it -
success means a lot more.
- Glynis Johns

Ira Gershwin, shame on him.
I mean, some of the writing.
- Joni Mitchell

I mean, I grew up riding.
I can't ever remember not being able to ride or rope and all that stuff.
It was part of my life growing up, so it was fun for me.
- Tim McGraw

Then came a big strike.
About 100 girls went out.
The result was a victory, which netted us -
I mean the girls -
$2 increase in our wages on the average.
- Rose Schneiderman

Like I said, I've got too much respect for women to marry them,
but that doesn't mean you can't support them emotionally and financially.
- Sylvester Stallone


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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