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Larry David Quotes and Sayings
Quotes by Larry David

May you find great value in these inspirational Larry David Quotes from my large datebase of inspiring quotes and sayings.

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David

Related topics: Sad Feeling-Down Romantic Marriage

And eventually as I kept writing it,
something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
- Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair.
But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
- Larry David

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.
- Larry David

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When you're not concerned with succeeding,
you can work with complete freedom.
- Larry David

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight,
so they get people to do their fighting for them while
they ski and eat chocolate.
- Larry David

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
- Larry David


 

I was planning on my future as a homeless person.
I had a really good spot picked out.
- Larry David

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
I just feed off the energy of the audience.
That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
- Larry David

I'm a walking, talking enigma.
- Larry David

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy
that these people were coming to hear -
mainstream comedy.
- Larry David

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading
about my emotional state.
It's not even interesting to me.
- Larry David

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character.
I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
- Larry David

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all.
I was interested in being a great comedian.
- Larry David

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
- Larry David

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm
deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them.
It's not that bad.
- Larry David

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show.
People generally talk the way they talk in life if
you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed
me more at home than overseas.
- Larry David

Millions of people are married.
I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says,
Man Gets Married!
- Larry David

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy,
it had become very commercialized.
- Larry David

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
- Larry David

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do
with the fact that I'm Jewish.
- Larry David

You write about what you know.
- Larry David

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life.
Albeit inadvertently.
- Larry David

I had a job as a paralegal.
I drove a cab.
- Larry David

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting,
thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much
better if I had written it out.
- Larry David

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now
I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery
will continue for at least one more generation.
- Larry David

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence,
and that drives women crazy.
- Larry David

Women love a self-confident bald man.
- Larry David

The only change I can really see is that I don't have
to shop for pants in stores anymore.
- Larry David

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things
a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
- Larry David

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous,
but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
- Larry David

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian;
if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do,
it would be that.
That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
- Larry David

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place.
The network was already committed to doing something with him,
so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
- Larry David

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go,
but I'm very casual about it.
- Larry David

I just feed off the energy of the audience.
- Larry David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling,
it becomes funny.
- Larry David

Drugs scared me.
- Larry David

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
- Larry David

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today,
it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of
waltz in the park back then.
- Larry David

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something,
it just doesn't happen that often.
- Larry David

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment,
with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me,
with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out,
with people yelling at each other all the time.
- Larry David

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,
I would walk around the streets and occasionally I
would see an alcove or something.
And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot
for me when I'm homeless.
- Larry David

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood
up for having served in the National Guard,
because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned
my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the
height of the Vietnam War.
- Larry David

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years,
which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army,
although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill
my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes
and they said I could skip my last year.
- Larry David

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours.
- Irish Blessing

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life
comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell

Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson

Kindness is the light that dissolves
all walls between souls, families, and nations.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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